cool dry place

I’m rebranding this thing as The Co-op Student Chronicles. The new shtick is that every post’s title will refer to lyrics or song titles from Fastball’s landmark 1998 album “All the Pain Money Can Buy.”

So the co-op student waltzes into work yesterday half an hour late with several layers of bandages taped all over his face. I’m on the phone with Sherry explaining that I’ll be late getting off work because the co-op student was at the hospital getting his face-wound repacked. He sees that I’m on the phone. This doesn’t discourage him from describing his face-wound’s tragic ordeal.

“Sorry I’m so fuckin’ late man but like I woke up today and the bandages and wadding all came out and I’m like laying there covered in blood so I had to go the fuckin’ hospital and get it repacked and shit.”

Everyone who bought a cell phone from him yesterday has called me today to complain about something. Amazingly, no one has complained yet about how the guy who helped them looked like he had a used sanitary napkin stapled to his face.

Complaints here usually focus on how our merchandise is any combination of “too shiny,” “not shiny enough,” “too jangly,” and “not jangly enough.”