Bored? Bring your easily-startled bull terrier to the Bayfield Greymarketorium and dump him in the velvet-clothed lap of a sweaty, bearded stranger who smells like sad old man and frightened toddlers! The incessant terrified barking will make the children cry and do wonders for the cellphone guy’s headache.
While you’re there, ask the cellphone guy for [...]
For his mind-destroying and nauseating contributions to “contemporary” Christmas music, Paul McCartney has earned a place on my enemies list.
My globally-integrated doomsday defense computer network is the best candidate for use by the Dept. of Defense because:
It possesses the ability to learn and react in an almost human capacity.
Its command console features two cup-holders and a built-in ashtray.
The X-mas decorations went up sometime between Sunday and today. The Bayfield Communal Commerce Pavilion is now home to several constellations of giant reflective balls. Every skylight cutout in the ceiling houses a festive almost-working replica of the Jupiter system.
My heart remains two sizes too small.
I’m sure The Management will take care of that by [...]
“We’re already old,” she says, and continues grading her papers. We drink our coffee (daring, I think, because it’s almost bed time) and I flip a page in my paperback.
Saturday night at Casa Cappuccino is for fucking with time. Taunting it. The heavily bearding 40- and 50-year-old men at the back on the couches are [...]
An in-class discussion of what’s “classful” and what’s “classless” sounds more interesting than it is.